February 5th, 2009 Hot flashing

Whoosh! A hot flash overtakes me and I'm awakened for the fourth time tonight. I pad my way to the bathroom in the dark, my bare feet relishing the cold tile. I luxuriate in this brief oasis a moment before diving back into cool sheets. I have a favorite card with a picture of a menopausal woman with a cup and saucer balanced on her head. The caption says, "Edith finds new and creative ways to use her hot flashes."

How do you describe a hot flash to a non-sufferer? There is a huge rush of adrenaline - the 'fight or flight' chemical our bodies use to equip us for action. Where's the action I ask myself. It puts our brains on high alert which in my case means I am fully alert and prepared in the middle of the night and broken out in a sweat for what? No worries, in a minute or two I will be shivering from cold. It's an E ticket experience without the ride.

My head hits the pillow and I hear the staccato beat of my pulse in my ears. Boom boom boom boom boom! My husband took my pulse earlier this evening. 109. "How long has it been this high," he asks? Since my last chemo I think. I tried to use our recumbent exercise bike but my pulse at 160 was so loud I stopped. Normal for me is 72.

The bone pain is pretty bad this time which is normal. It is most intense from the hips down. It pulsates pain from one joint to the next and back. Today my heels are throbbing. I just read numerous blogs on the subject and realize it could be a whole lot worse. Nothing really seems to help including Oxycodone. It's begun to fade so that's 3 days of discomfort - not bad.

God is using this time at home for me to rest and be still in Him.