January 17th, 2009



Today is my birthday! I awoke feeling great! First good night sleep I've had in a long time. No night sweats woke me up. I slept in one of my husbands cotton t shirts instead of my polyester nightgown. Today I think I'll go shopping for a cotton nightgown. I lay in bed taking stock: today is my birthday. I'm 58. I am a daughter of Yahweh. I had chemo two days ago and feel wonderful today. I arise, praising God. I grab a handful of pills. An antiacid for heartburn which was pretty bad yesterday because I forgot to take it before chemo, Claritin and Ibuprofen for the bone pain I'm told to expect today. It seems crazy to be feeling as good as I do. My husband, on the other hand came to bed at midnight but I realized he wasn't there a few hours later. He's asleep in his chair this morning so I quietly pull the door to the den shut.
I picked up my blackberry to check for messages and there is a very sweet email from a new friend. I thank God for her. She is someone I have admired from afar. Her demeanor exudes gentleness. She offers to bring me a jewelry kit. I don't know what a jewelry kits are but it sounds like fun. I really can't imagine staying home away from crowds for 6 weeks when I'm feeling like this. I'm getting a different more powerful shot to boost my immune system. It's called Neulasta. My insurance company wouldn't pay for it before at $5000 per injection. So I got 3 shots of Neupogen instead for $1500. Some arrangement doctor Kato has at his new office makes Neulasta more affordable. And for me it means I don't have to make the trips down on the alternating weeks to check my blood. They give it to me the day after chemo and I'm done for 2 weeks.
A few minutes after I arise my phone rings and its my son, Danny, calling to wish me Happy Birthday. I remember as a child judging how good a birthday was by the gifts I received. The "gifts" I desire have changed. Feeling rested and healthy is certainly a gift but phone calls from loved ones are my favorite. Shortly after I hang up with Danny, my sister Janet calls me. Danny said they just got heat yesterday in his new apartment. He lives with three other students. They've been using space heaters to save money but it's too cold for the pipes at 3 below zero in Virginia so they paid for heating oil. Janet is planning to take a hike today - the California is experiencing a heatwave in January. I remember awaking on my 11th birthday to snow in Palo Alto!
My mother is taking me to lunch today. How grateful I am to be close to her. Then we'll go shopping - I have a Christmas gift card I "need" to spend. I marvel that I feel like doing this. I feel very blessed indeed.